Another Pregnancy First

This morning on the metro, I got some of my first unsolicited pregnancy and childrearing advice from a complete stranger – a Lieutenant Commander in the Navy! I should have known that this would be an awkward conversation when it opened with him asking me, “Excuse me, ma’am, are you with child??” (who says that?!?!) He asked me if I was considering breastfeeding (No, I’m just 330 pages into The Womanly Art of Breastfeeding for kicks) and proceeded to tell me the thousands of reasons that I should.

But then he asked me if I was going to a midwife or doing a home birth. Imagine his surprise when I informed him I would be giving birth at a hospital!! Mr. Lieutenant Commander said he didn’t want to push anything on me, but this was something he felt strongly about (clearly!). He wrote down the name of his midwife from California who wrote a book in the 70s. Though it was really flaky, according to him since the entire decade was flaky, “I mean everyone had long hair”. Thankfully, a less flaky version was republished in the 90s.

Mr. Lieutenant Commander explained all the reasons you shouldn’t have an epidural, the complications, how it makes birth more difficult, etc. To comfort and assure me of his expertise in the subject, he proudly said he wasn’t just some hippie; after all, he studied physics at the Naval Academy. (Had he only known what a tree-hugging, recycling, California, non –religious, liberal hippie I am!) He also explained that this was SO important, he had actually had missed his stop on the metro so he could talk to me more. As he left, he gave me good wishes: “Best of luck to you in the Universe!”

Suddenly, I realized that I was on the wrong train, and had to transfer to another one and go back like 5 stops in order to get back on track. If he hadn’t talked to me the whole way, I could have switched a stop earlier much more easily.

It was all quite humorous in a way. I mean, I already knew and was mostly in agreement with all the things he was trying so hard to convince me of, but I just don’t understand why he felt so compelled to share his worldly knowledge with poor, helpless, unknowing me. I thought about telling him how I’ve read a lot about natural child birth, or that he didn’t need to convince me to breastfeed, because I had already made that decision. But I didn’t want to engage him any further. He was really trying to be nice. I couldn’t help but thinking the whole time I was being talked to, how I would definitely blog all about this experience.